New York passed a bill making what some people are calling "gay marriage" legal. "Historic" is the word I'm hearing (well, reading) everywhere. It's a "historic" bill. My Facebook newsfeed was flooded earlier with all sorts of joy and elation and celebrating. I imagine, had I been in the same room as those joyous Facebookers, I would have seen people leaping for joy, heard their cheers, maybe been hugged excitedly.
So I found it incredibly strange, at first, to find that I wasn't really all that excited. It didn't feel particularly historic. It just felt . . . like old news, I suppose.
I'm spoiled. I don't even know what "gay marriage" is. Isn't that just redundant? Merry marriage? Why would anyone want a marriage that wasn't gay, wasn't happy and merry? I mean, I get it: "gay marriage" is supposed to mean "marriage between two people who have the same reproductive organs" or something like that. But really? Marriage is about reproductive organs? You have to reproduce? Well, there goes my wedding. You know, the one that's not going to result in reproduction.
I always knew that, if I decided to have kids, I would most certainly adopt. There was a very short period of time during which the horror of denying the human species the continuation of my wonderful genetics made me reconsider, but Dumbledore had some powerful things to say about that like: "[I]t matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be." So much for my genes.
It seems so strange to me that there are so very many people who understand marriage as dependent upon the reproductive organs of the two people getting married. "Really?" I find myself asking. Not an angry or impatient "Really?" though, but a sad, somber "Really?"
I feel sorry for the people who opposed this bill. Maybe that sounds condescending; I don't mean it to sound such. I truly feel sorry, because opposition to this bill is based out of fear. Real fear. It doesn't matter what you're afraid of, fear is fear. It is a powerful, consuming, and painful feeling. It grabs hold of your mind and takes away your ability to reason or, worse, to empathise. I am very afraid of fear, of the power it can wield, of falling prey to fear.
At first, I was vaguely happy about the bill passing, but as I struggled to understand why this should even be a news story at all—after all, I always understood marriage to be completely independent of reproductive organs, so making it law wasn't particular exciting—I found myself sobered by the reality that not only is this struggle not over for those working for full equality, but that this is a painful and frightening time for those on both sides. I cannot imagine being on "the other side" right now. It must be scary. So I hope I can find the empathy necessary to get over my own fear of "the other side" and instead reach out in love and patience to help both "sides" find more peace and less fear.
