On Not Sleeping

You know what sucks? Forgetting that, in your rush to get over to band rehearsal, you managed to completely not post a blog or even finish. Luckily, you woke up at three-something-in-the-morning, so you could write! Right?

Wrong. At three-something-in-the-morning, my brain was not properly functioning, and I was in a half asleep, half awake fog until six when I finally started to re-join reality and took a shower. And so the usual morning business started. Waking my brother up, feeding the dog, re-waking my brother up because he hadn't really woken up and was still dead in bed, eating breakfast, forgetting the dog outside, realising that my phone battery was nearly dead and thus plugging it in, telling my brother for the umpteenth time that lying in bed grumbling at me does not count as being "up," reading a book for a 10-page paper I need to write tonight and finish tomorrow night, making lesson plans in my head, checking my email, and then suddenly realising that, oh shoot, I never posted a blog!

That's my Tuesday so far. Pretty typical, minus waking up at three-something-in-the-morning; my body usually wakes me up right at sunrise, but with the gloomy weather we've been having, my body is terrified of accidentally sleeping in and has now moved to waking me up incredibly early after my not going to bed at a "decent hour". I have to get back to going to bed before midnight at the earliest. It's always one excuse after another though.

Last night, it was my brother wandering into the family room (where the computer I generally use is), sneaking onto the couch, and then breaking down into crying. It was well past his bedtime. So I sat down next to the couch and started talking to him to find out what was wrong. Apparently, his 10-year-old mind had come to the conclusion that, "The world is going to end," and this was just the worst thing imaginable. Obviously, he couldn't sleep.

It's actually pretty common that he gets up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep. As I laid in bed last night to sleep, my mind wouldn't shut down either, and I could not, for the life of me, get to sleep for sometime. I can't assure him that he'll be able to sleep easily in the future, because I've always gotten little sleep, and I hear it from those older than me all the time about not sleeping. Babies can't even sleep through the night. For some reason, we humans, at least in our society, can't sleep all night unless we completely exhaust ourselves and have no choice but passing out like we're dead.

I like passing out like I'm dead. I generally sleep quite well, despite not getting to bed at that magical "decent hour" we idolise and still getting up as the sun rises, because I'm always so exhausted, that I'm out like a rock whenever I sleep. My body is like, "Screw it, I'm exhausted. Let's just be dead for awhile, yeah?" It's a really good actor too.

My brother finally went to sleep after a long talk about science and life and religion and race and the Middle East and earthquakes and New Orleans and Where the Wild Berries Grow. He loves to tell me ideas he has for the play, and he gave me a few good ones last night. I really have to wonder sometimes whether he's really going to be a lawyer like he claims; his mind is too thrilled by physically creating things, just like mine. We'll see. Once we get enough sleep.

George Carlin

Disclaimer: Like most commedians, George Carlin can be vulgar and offensive. Watch his stuff at your own discretion. You have been warned.

Speaking of deceased people who I wish I could have met while they were still alive, (Isn't that redundant? "Met while they were still alive"? Can you really meet dead people?) I love George Carlin. As I write this (back to being ahead of schedule, thankfully!), I've just been watching videos of his old stand-up routines on YouTube. His segments on cats, stuff, and airplane safety will always be my top three. I've made it a rule to always watch his bit on airplane safety before going on a plane and insist that anyone else travelling with me watch it before too. It just makes airplanes much more enjoyable, because everything is just so much more ridiculous.

But George Carlin had a lot to say about our society, from our obsessions with "stuff" or our material possessions to the flat-out arrogance in thinking we are superior to even the planet on which we reside. To think that humans, who aren't even capable of caring for each other, can care for every living thing on our planet and in existence is just insane. We can't even care for our own children. Animals all seem to have their systems worked out, and they work without any issues nearly all of the time, but us humans can't even figure out whether to use breast milk or formula, how much, and how long. Meanwhile, we're all just blowing each other up over our perceived differences.

But then he has things like his bit on the ways in which we're all alike. Like when it's Wednesday, but it feels like Thursday. Then you wake up the next day, and you're back to normal again. Or the mystery of the jumping pillow. You know, the way the pillow moves if you close one eye and then switch to the other when you're lying down in bed. Or when you fall asleep in the afternoon, and then you wake up, it's the middle of the night, and you have no idea what day it is. Or you walk to a room, and when you get there, you can't remember why you walked over.

I love George Carlin because he makes me think while making me laugh. That's something not many people can do. To both entertain and teach all at once takes much more than to do only one or the other, but when you're entertained, it becomes easier to learn, and when you're learning, it's easier to be entertained. Have you ever noticed that? Two people can try to teach you the same thing, and the more successful one is always the one who manages to entertain you and make it interesting. You could be talking about the dullest subject, but if it's presented right, you'll be engaged. And when your mind is learning, when your brain starts functioning and processing things, you appreciate the world so much more suddenly. You get the references, the allusions, the subtle things which make everything that much more enjoyable.

Maybe I should employ some comedy into my Friday posts.

Liberation Day

I always feel so arrogant when I sit down to write these "Things I've Learned" posts. It seems ridiculous that I, some mixed-up and fatally flawed eighteen-year-old kid, should have "lessons" to share with others. Who am I to think I can teach total strangers?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." — from A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

This is a tough lesson to learn. It's something I know in words, but don't understand, as my old Physics teacher always asked us to, deep in my gut. It's not intuitive in our culture. We thrive on self-depreciation and shrinking. Confidence is arrogance and egotism. To love oneself is to be selfish.

Who am I to think I am so great that others may learn from me? Who am I to believe I possess any desirable qualities?

Lately, I've been getting a lot more views a day. It was exciting for one day, and then it started becoming scary. Who am I to have so many people read what I write? Who am I to believe that I deserve the attention? I've been feeling a bit paranoid. Like maybe this is just some prank. Or maybe people will figure out that my blog is not worth reading, and my views will drop back down.

Our culture perpetuates this problem. Our culture embraces and encourages fear. We live in a world full of terror and immobilising fear. And I don't like it. I don't want the world my children grow up in to be one governed by fear. I want my children unafraid of their own greatness. "And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

You know what? Who am I not to teach? Who am I not to share my thoughts, my ideas, the things I learn and find valuable? I let go of my fear, started this blog, and made it as easy to find as I could. And you know what happened? Other friends of mine started to do the same. As I was liberated from my fear, so were those around me.

I want to liberate the whole world from fear. Help me? All you have to do is liberate yourself.

Re: Perfect Imperfections

This blog post was inspired by this blog post, written by my friend Jeremiah. I mentioned his blog yesterday in the post script.

The post brought up something I've only vaguely put into words before, remaining mostly floating thoughts in my head rather than actual communication of ideas. But I think it's something important, at least to me. In discussing principles of design, he wrote: "While one may be able to say from either an artistic or engineering point of view the the finished product has several imperfections, one can also say that, being balanced, it's the perfect product."

I think our definition of "perfect" is wrong. I think we need to re-think "perfect." Perfect, in our society and our language, is mathematical: there is only one solution and all other possible answers are wrong. Broken. Inadequate. Flawed. But we think of "perfection" in romantic and abstract ways, not concrete and un-malleable ways. We can't even all agree on what "the ideal" is we set our standards at.

To debate, you must start by defining the terms in the statement you are arguing. If you don't, you're just arguing nonsense. Everyone needs to be on the same page for a debate, understanding the terms correctly, though differing in interpretation of what may be inferred by these definitions.

So how should we be defining "perfection"? If it's not a mathematical formula for the ideal, what is it? This is where design comes into play. To keep it simple, let's say I'm designing a flyer:

It's for a hardcore band, and they want flames all over the place. Flames are awesome, right? I could fill the background with flames and even make the text on fire. But wait, you say, no one can read that! Okay, so I make the word-flames a different colour. Happy now? Of course not. The texture still makes you strain to read. I have to use less flame. So I redesign it to be super easy to read, but now it's plain black text on white paper. No one's going to even stop to read.

From a hardcore, flame-loving perspective, the first version is the pest, is perfect. But from a reader hoping to find information about the band, the last is the best: simple, clear, and nothing unnecessary. Each of these, as Jeremiah points out, could be considered "perfect" on their own, but in the world of design, this is no longer enough. Perfect instead comes when compromise is made and balance is reached.

So let us define "perfect" not as a mathematical constant, but as a symbiotic relationship between opposing forces in which strengths and weaknesses unite instead of fight. Let us define perfection as the fearless embracing of such concepts and acceptance of supposed flaws. Let us define perfection as ever-changing and indefinable.

Article from a Multiverse

After my post about automated blogging, I'm going to be kind of lame and use an article I read as the main content of my blog post today This article, to be specific. "Are we living in a designer universe?"

I didn't read it entirely. I plan to later this week, but I wanted to share it. I don't know how to wrap my head around it, really. (For those of you who didn't read at all, it's basically about the theory that our universe was created by something near-human, and that we're getting very close to being capable of creating universes too.) I can't take a stance because my mind just won't process it at all. It alludes me.

What really interests me though is that humanity could be close to creating actual, fully-functioning universes. That idea is crazy. As an artist, a writer, I feel compelled to create. It's like the ultimate dream sort of thing to create an actual, fully-functioning universe. I feel like I spend my whole life building pieces of little universes, but never complete ones. Just imagine having a complete one!

But then how would we feel about having created an entire universe? How big would it be? Would we feel parental towards it? That said, suppose the theory about our universe is true: how does our creator really feel about us? And how many universes are there right now?

This just opens up a whole new wave of questions and thoughts. Boy, do I love thoughts.

What are your thoughts on the article and the ideas and concepts it presents?

P.S. Yes, I got the link from Jon Rosenberg's wonderful comic Scenes from a Multiverse

The Rescues

I promised to write an artist or two this week on Monday, didn't I? Well, lucky you, I don't like to break my promises! So, without further ado, let's talk about The Rescues: Kyler England, Rob Giles, Adrianne Gonzalez, and Gabriel Mann.

It's no wonder I like The Rescues: piano-driven rock, vocal harmonies, ukulele, creative lyrics, and musicians who play multiple instruments. And they're L.A.-based. Their debut album, Let Loose the Horses, was released only a few months ago, so they're (hopefully) just getting started; I am definitely looking forward to hearing more from these guys.

Besides fitting the musical generalisations I find cool, The Rescues stand out to me because they have a unique sound. Each one of them came from a different musical background, and it's obvious in their music that they're not four identical people with all of the same ideas. No, instead of clinging to similarities, they have somehow managed to blend their differences beautifully.

In a way, The Rescues sort of represent my own hopes and beliefs about our society. The idea that four very different people could come together, embrace their differences, and create something beautiful is perhaps one of the most uplifting ideas for me. Losing yourself in order to make peace with others or worse, eliminating differences by eliminating those different from an arbitrarily determined norm is so very far from ideal, but there are times when it seems like our differences could never be reconciled to create something as beautiful as The Rescues. But The Rescues prove it's possible.

Philosophical ideas aside, the music of The Rescues is incredible. Their lyrics are great, their voices beautiful (just listen to their acapella track, "My Heart with You"), and each instrumental note intertwined pleasantly with every other. I'm proud to recommend Kyler, Rob, Adrianne, and Gabriel to anyone cool enough to read my blog. Yeah, that means YOU. I like you; you read my blog! And you're not just my mother.