November

I know what's missing in my life. I need to create. I need NaNo. November is going to be hell. The greatest hell ever. I will be so utterly exhausted, but it will be the exhaustion I enjoy so much: that specific kind of exhaustion that comes from spending every moment doing what you love.

I'm not doing what I love right now. I'm writing papers under impossible time constraints, limiting my freedom to truly create the profound essay I'd like; frantically trying to learn how to teach a theatre class to students who have no interest in theatre without losing the few who really do want to learn; cramming language and vocabulary into my head without building the natural, "native speaker" connections that'll make them stick under real-life pressure; and wishing desperately for Monday when I'll get to run another rehearsal. That's all I want. That's all I love.

It's scary, you know, realising that the one thing that's making everything else worth it is just a bunch of high school students who probably don't really care about you much. Not that they don't care, but they're not concerned with me the way I am them. They're not near giddy when they see me like I am them. It's insane. My whole existence right now is attached to them and this play. I need it; I need them!

November is going to be wonderful. In only a few weeks, we're going to cram in the blocking and choreography for the entire play. And while we're mercilessly cramming, I'll be a full time college student who is also writing a novel in a month. It will be amazing. I'll never have a moment to even stop and think, "Man, I am so tired!" I'll be too busy and too exhausted from creating so much.

I wish it were November.

Surprise!

Want to know what the two surprises I mentioned on my Facebook page Saturday are? If you read yesterday's post, you'll understand when I explain this first one:

Sundays are back! But not like you remember them: I'm going to be scanning old notebook pages, drawings, writings, and all sorts of things, and posting them up here. It'll range from really old (like elementary school days) stuff to current projects, but it'll all be original, hand-made work. Messy, chaotic, full of mistakes, and most importantly: human. I want to go back to crossed out mistakes, eraser smudges, illegible writing, doodles in the margins, and all the evidence of the imperfect path taken to make something. I want to make something more than just a serious of zeros and ones displayed as pixels on a computer screen. I want to create.

Surprise number two is the announcement of the free art giveaway contest winners: everyone! Insert maniacal laughter here. I tricked you all! That was the plan all along! It's my gift to you for supporting me. I am constantly amazed at all the support I have; you guys are absolutely incredible. So I hope you enjoy the art. It's going to take me awhile to do it all, since I am pretty busy, but just be patient and I'll get the art to you as soon as I can.

Anyway, if you haven't noticed yet, there is a poll on the top of my sidebar. I would love if you voted in it. And I'd especially love blog comments (or Facebook ones). I love hearing from you guys. Honest! I'd rather this blog be a community and a conversation than just a lonely or tyrannical monologue.

Have a wonderful week!

P. S. I have a meeting with the PHS principal a week from tomorrow. Updates about PHS's theatre program will henceforth be posted on the Ironic Sea Serpent blog and Facebook page.