For Impossible's Sake

Question number five of the survey mentioned in Tuesday's post is, "What is your biggest goal for this year?" This one I'm going to have to answer in two parts: what my biggest goals for 2010 were, and what my biggest goals for 2011 are. Let's get started:

1 January 2010. A stressed-out high school senior anxiously awaits winter break to end in only a matter of days. Why? Because the biggest moment of her life is fast approaching: the opening of her very first play, written by, directed by, produced by, and starring. No one knows their lines. No one knows their blocking. No one knows a thing about acting or theatre in the least. The cast knows the play is going to suck. Cast members voice their dismal predictions daily, in fact.

6 January 2010. The final rehearsal. A run-through, and it is clear that there is no play. Morale is farther down than rock bottom. Their director cracks. No one is allowed to leave the theatre until they get their act together and have a decent run-through. Even if they're there all night. No one leaves. Another run-through. Under pressure, the cast finally comes together after months of disunity. There might be a play.

9 January 2010. The play closes. It was a success. No one can fathom how on earth everything worked out. But it did.

That was how 2010 began for me. All I wanted was to magically make it past the 9th. And when I did, I had no idea what to do next. I had done more than I could possibly dream of, and I went through many months just wishing I could find something bigger, something better to do. I did the impossible, and so the possible seemed boring. My biggest goal for 2010 was just to find something to dream of.

So as we go into 2011, I think I've found some new impossible things to do. My biggest goal for this year though is to stop trying so hard to do the impossible, just for the sake of proving I did something impossible. I'd like a chance to actually enjoy what I'm doing, and not just race wildly to find the next thing to do. I want to learn how to live in today, not just tomorrow.