Earthly Existence

It all ended with a dull thud. No crash, no boom, no excitement. Only a dull thud, and it was all over. It all began just as mundane, and I can't seem to recall anything particularly noteworthy between the mundane and the dull thud. In fact, you can barely even consider it a happening at all.

As I said, it began mundane. I awoke that day, but did not get up. I'd fallen asleep on the couch again, and the TV was still on. It was the middle of the night, and some stupid infomercials were on. I gazed numbly at the screen.

It had become quite common that I'd wake up like this. My mother warned me that I might die in my sleep and not even know it. "Last I saw you, you already looked dead!" she scolded me. I wasn't sure why I should care. My earthly existence has ceased to matter. I had accomplished everything I hoped to on earth. I had no physical dreams to make come true any longer.

And so my body wasted away. I was unashamed. I could not care about my earthly body as long as my unearthly soul demanded all care be devoted to it. My soul held my true existence. My body could die, and I would never care, as long as what mattered to me remained strong: my soul.

When I awoke, I felt nothing. I had been sure that some bodily function had woken me up, but I felt no ailment. Regardless, I stood up to get myself food. I did not make it to the kitchen, however. Sirens were approaching, and my roommate rushed past me to the couch I had been sleeping on. Panic filled the air.

Everything gets blurred here.

It seemed my mind was trying to put information together in an earthly fashion, but, being only human, it was faulty. I could not comprehend why paramedics were rushing into my home. Nor could I comprehend why my roommate was stricken with such panic over the couch. And, finally, I could not comprehend what I saw when I walked back to my couch.

I was lying on the couch. My roommate shook me. She was crying, I realised. My body fell to the floor with a dull thud. And then it hit me: I was dead. She was delirious. I tried to speak, but my words fell on deaf ears. I was a ghost.

For a moment, I felt liberated. At last, I was freed of my earthly body! And then, a wave of sickness hit me. Suddenly, it hit me that she was crying over me, over my death. My mother would cry too. My roommate was already blaming herself for not doing something to save me, for not knowing I was dying; my mother would only be worse.

I tried to leap into my body, to return to my human life, but I was dead. I tried to speak, tried to smell, tried to feel, but all of my senses were gone but, somehow, sight. I could see that I did not want to be dead. I wanted nothing more than to return to my earthly life and live again. I suddenly understood what was meant by the words, "You don't know what you have until it's gone." And so I cried too. I shook, I flailed, and with a dull thud, I hit the ground.

I woke up the moment my body hit the ground. Infomercials were on, just as they had been in my dream. I stared at the screen, bewildered. I touched my skin, making sure it was real, making sure I was alive. I knew I was. I had only been dreaming; it was only a nightmare.

But I was shaken, forever changed. My lethargic slump ended with a dull thud, and my new life as an actually alive human being began immediately. I did not resent my earthly constraints ever again, but instead praised that I might have the chance to live. I felt as if I truly had died and been resurrected, given a second chance at life by some higher power. I did not waste it.