Epileptic Dwarf

Last week was great. I was way up high on the blogging rollercoaster, overlooking miles and miles of endless worlds. I was so excited, I got all my posts for the whole week done Tuesday. It was an easy week. I just sat back and watched as my blog views went up on their own.

And then the views started going down. Like they always do on the weekends. And I tried to get some blogs for the week written ahead of time, but nothing came out. Nothing sounded good. I was too demoralised from the weekend lows. So now it's almost 11PM Monday night, I'm exhausted, sick, hungry, and wanting nothing more than to just sleep right now. But I have to blog. So I go catch up on webcomics.

I'm thinking I should switch to doing comics. Make jokes and draw kitties? Boy am I in the wrong "profession"! And then, of course, it occurs to me that I'm not that funny and every cat I draw ends up looking like an epileptic dwarf with a crack problem. Comics are too much work. So I gaze through my inbox.

There's a message from a writer. I need to write him back, but I've forced myself to blog first. It gives me time to get past the giddy excitement and respond reasonably and calmly. But if this writer's book is as good as the first page, and if he can put some blind faith in me, Ironic Sea Serpent Books is going to start turning into a real publishing company soon. As if all my dreams weren't already coming true enough.

I guess I have no reason to be so demoralised whenever my blog views are lower than I'd like. Even this post, no matter how stupid this is, is going to be read at least 20 times. TWENTY TIMES! I can't even believe that. And it'll probably get more like 30-40, since it's a Tuesday post. And it's just me rambling pessimistically.

I'm ashamed of not being happy 24/7. Blog views is such a stupid thing to complain about. And it makes me so mad at myself that I have to force myself through the pity party until I reach the end and realise that, hey, my life is pretty good. So good, that I'm starting to feel like I can't even dream fast enough any more.

New dream: start a webcomic about an epileptic dwarf with a crack problem.

P. S. Thanks for reading my blog, even when I'm demoralised, moody, and unappreciative. Every time someone views my blog, I feel a little more ready to conquer the world.

P. P. S. I just looked at my comments, and I saw that I had two new comments today, both of which made me smile. Why are you guys so wonderful? Thanks. I'll keep blogging.